“You know you’re going to die some day, right?” says makers of dubious health supplement

“You know you’re going to die some day, right?” says makers of dubious health supplement

It’s a sobering thought, our own mortality. I know just reading the Daily Mail makes me think a long and hard about my life, and how I spend it reading too much of the Daily Mail. Still, I’ve a whole decade before I should suddenly fear for my health, so I’m fine.

Speaking of fearing for one’s health, just who was it who put this fear-mongering story directly into the health section of the Daily Mail?

Professor Alf Lindberg, Science Director behind the ‘tomato pill’ Ateronon, said: ‘I have spent a lifetime dedicated to preventing and curing diseases.

‘But it never ceases to amaze me how easily people are prepared to throw away their good health by abusing their bodies with poor diet, booze and lack of exercise.

‘This survey is yet more evidence of that – it seems that people leave it until they reach the age of 39 before they start to take their health seriously.’

I don’t know about you, but if my health advice doesn’t come from someone trying to sell me a ‘tomato pill’, I just don’t listen. It’s why I get all of my healthy living tips from the Dolmio puppets.

In case you’re wondering exactly what these magical tomato pills are suppose to do for us, wonder no more – they come with a range of non-specific and vague health benefits as attested to by a former member of the Nobel Foundation. Fortunately, the Daily Mail article goes one better than the zero claims made on the Ateronon website, with said for Nobel work declaring:

‘We want to collect as much clinical trial evidence as we can, to demonstrate its efficacy in reducing risk in a wide range of conditions, from heart disease to cancer.’

Well that’s OK then – we all know that if you want to demonstrate the efficacy of your supplement in treating diseases you’re forbidden by law to discuss, the first step is to sell the product, pay for a PR company to place it into the news with a fear-mongering headline, convince consumers that it’s in their best interests to buy your product, and THEN set about seeing if it actually works. Y’know, science.

I can’t believe Alf missed out on those recent Nobel prizes, frankly. Better luck next year, Alf.