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“Older people have dirty photos on their smartphones!” says smartphone security company

“Lesbians are good for headlines!” says promoters of lesbian TV drama

July 11th, 2012

The notion that ‘sex sells’ has long since passed from truism to cliché, the cliché is never more true than when you can throw in the opportunity to show photographs of famous, attractive women. Which goes a long way to explaining this, from the ever-reliably-lecherous Sun:

Most women fancy a snog with Cheryl

ONE in two straight women has snogged a girl friend — and Cheryl Cole is the celeb most would share a gay kiss with.

A survey of 2,000 women found that half have thought nothing of paying a pal some lip service.

Of those, 40 per cent said they were drunk at the time, while a quarter claimed they were just curious to know what tickling tonsils with a girl was like.

Not to mention this three-for-one from the equally-lecherous Daily Mail:

Cheryl Cole, Angelina Jolie and Duchess Kate voted top female celebrities straight women would choose for lesbian clinch

Cheryl Cole is the starlet women would most like to have a lesbian fling with, according to findings. 

Fellow brunettes Angelina Jolie and the Duchess of Cambridge were also rated highly during a study exploring female sexuality.

More than half of heterosexual girls questioned (51 per cent) admitted to passionately kissing another woman on the lips, with 37 per cent saying they were drunk at the time.

Very little about the story is worth passing comment on, but it is however worth pointing out that this ‘study on female sexuality’ was in fact a standard PR opinion poll commissioned to publicise the release of BBC’s lesbian-centric drama Lip Service.

“Women have sex on holiday!” says creepy firm asking men to pay to for female holiday companions

July 9th, 2012 (Updated: July 23rd, 2012)

Some PR stories are so clearly and obviously pitched that the same article, in almost the same words, can feed into the narratives of multiple newspapers at once. Here’s one such example, leered over excitingly by The Sun:

Brit hol girls go bonkers! Third enjoy sex on beach

BRITISH girls are hot stuff on their hols — with a THIRD admitting they have enjoyed a bonk on the beach.

More than 40 per cent of women under 30 have had a one-night stand on holiday — while one in ten have had at least FIVE lovers during a week-long break.

The shocking survey of British holidaymakers’ love lives also reveals nine in ten girls have more sex in the sun than when they’re at home.

And here’s the same story being sneered at and morally-judged by the softcore-pornography-clearing-house that is the Daily Mail Online:

Sun, sea and sex: More than 40% of women under 30 admit to having one-night stands on holiday

More than 40 per cent of British women under 30 have had a one-night stand on holiday, according to a new survey.

The poll, which explored the nation’s sexual habits, found that holiday-makers are more likely to have casual sex abroad than when they are at home.

And getting in touch with their adventurous side, 30 per cent said they enjoyed spending evenings canoodling outdoors on the beach.

Which side are we meant to fall on? Are we to rub our knees and phwoar like a Carry On film? Or should we tut and dismiss the youth of today as a bunch of amoral hussies? Or, maybe, we should take a look behind the survey, and see what that tells us… from the Mail:

The findings were revealed in a poll for dating website MissTravel.com, which asked its 30,000 female British members ten questions about their sexual habits during their summer holidays.

Commenting on the findings CEO Brandon Wade, said: ‘It is clear that women become much more sexually liberated when they are out of their comfort zone.

‘Once they get into their bikini or travel to an exciting new city our members’ thoughts turn to sex.

‘Almost one in three of our members have had sex on a beach

MissTravel.com, for those who aren’t aware, are less of a dating website and more of a ‘wealthy men paying for attractive girls to go on holiday with them’ opportunity. From their own website:

Who needs money, beautiful people travel for free! Travel dating for generous and attractive people

The business is model runs thus: single men with plenty of money are able to choose young, attractive women from the pages of the website’s catalogue membership list, and determine which of them they’d like to hire accompany for a holiday. Such sites are relatively new, albeit based on a business model which bears striking similarity to the world’s oldest profession. Which would of course be fine, were it sold transparently so, rather than hiding the model behind the seeming legitimacy of this pseudo-sociological bullshit research.

Looking again at the story through the lens of the dubious product it’s promoting, the angle is clear:

Hey, men! Finding it hard to get into a girl’s knickers? Join our site, pay us a fee, take a stranger abroad and you’ll have a 2 in 5 chance of getting laid. You’re welcome, creepy millionaire / desperate and frustrated singleton!

At least The Sun have the good grace to display their venality up front – The Daily Mail’s faux outrage at the amoral youth of today is somewhat undone by the otherwise glowing reports of Miss Travel and their ilk below the fold in the article.