Tag Archives: Durex

“Men would rather watch football than have sex!” says condom manufacturer

Not tonight darling, the World Cup is on! 40% of men would turn down sex to watch football

Women across the country are preparing for a summer of boyfriends and husbands glued to the television as the World Cup begins.

And it seems the girls really will be getting even less attention than expected as two in five men admit they would actually turn down sex to watch the football.

According to a new study even if they do get intimate with their partners, 42 per cent of men admit they will try to ‘get it over with quickly’ in order to watch an important game.

Source: Daily Mail, 12th June 2014

durex-12062014-mail

With the World Cup well and truly underway, the nation’s men have no interest at all in sex, what with there being football to watch. And those who are still having sex are doing so with the hurried recklessness of whichever footballer last did something a bit rubbish during a game (I’m actually writing this story a week ago, and topicality is a challenge, so let’s pretend I’d written an actual name here).

Still, is this genuine, legitimate research, or something a little empty and vacuous to distract us from the times when there’s not currently a match on TV? Well, let’s look at the signs:

The poll of 2,000 men from 72 Point…

Well, that’s not an ideal sign – not just the poor wording of the paragraph opener, making it seem like the poll involved two thousand employees of a PR company, but also the particular PR company involved. 72 Point are part of SWNS Media group, who also own One Poll – no strangers on this Bad PR blog. So let’s just say it’s reality 0, PR bullshit 1 there.

The poll of 2,000 men from 72 Point was commissioned by Durex…

In with the commercial paymaster, now, and it’s clearly a cause for bias – the condom manufacturer having a clear impetus (I said impetus) to lay down a challenge to the masculinity of the nation. PR goes two-nil up on reality.

The poll of 2,000 men from 72 Point was commissioned by Durex to highlight how a summer of football will affect the nation’s love life with their #DontFakeIt campaign.

Ah, we have a bullshit hashtag campaign, and that’s the hat-trick for PR. Remarkable stuff.

“French women prefer food to sex!” says condom maker

Sorry men, 74% of French women prefer going out for a gourmet meal than having sex – and food gives them MORE pleasure.

For years, our continental neighbours have been applauded as chic, slim and poised – all achieved seemingly without effort.

They are famed for never putting on weight – despite enjoying a rich diet of foie gras, escargot and croissants.

And, according to a new survey, French women love eating so much that they’d rather go for a gourmet meal than have sex with their partner.

Source: Daily Mail, 30 May 2014

durex-30052014-mail

A tale of woe, from across the Channel, then – our poor Gallic guys and girls, despite their reputation for being a nation of Pepe Le Peu’s, are secretly happier sharing a dessert than a night of passion. And it’s not just the word of a biased and incentivised polling populace – we have experts offering their say too:

Sexologist Gerard Leleu attempted to shed some light on this rather surprising result of Harris Interative’s survey.

He told Stylist magazine: ‘Chemically, the same thing happens in the brain during a “culinary orgasm” and a sexual orgasm.

Which is absolutely true – if you’re allowed to make up an idea like ‘culinary orgasm’, you get to define what this fictional term might mean.

‘In fact, when we are sad and we decide to eat chocolate, we are actually masturbating the hypothalamus.’

“Masturbating the hypothalamus”, of course, being one of the rejected slogans for Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.

That said, masturbating is further from the aims of the survey commissioners than you may imagine:

Durex RealFeel Sexpert Alix Fox said: ‘Apparently Gallic lasses would rather savour some boeuf or bouillabaisse than enjoy an evening dans la boudoir… perhaps they’re having really crepe sex?!

Much as I enjoy a good pun, I object to them being the centre of a news story in a national media outlet.

‘I’d be intrigued to know what time of day this survey was conducted; even those of us with off-the-scale sexual appetites and highly compatible, skilled partners might be tempted to rate food as more pleasurable than intimacy if asked just before lunch, when our stomachs are growling more loudly than our libidos.

It’s fascinating to think that the spokeswoman for Durex is intrigued as to when the survey commissioned by her own condom company was conducted. Perhaps when the report came in, she was otherwise occupied…

“Men are fat, inconsiderate and unsexy” says diet firm and condom brand

Lights off Larry: Survey finds a quarter of men prefer to have sex with the lights off…because they’re ashamed of their bodies

The study, which polled British men between the ages of 20 and 30, claims to prove that male body confidence is at an all-time low

Groundbreaking research it might not be, but a new survey of 1,077 men has shed light (or rather the opposite) on the sex lives of British men. And unsurprisingly it’s all a bit murky.

Source: Independent, 18 March 2014

image

You have to have some sympathy with women, having to put up with the unsightly and horrid sight of their man’s physique – or, perhaps, that level of shame is what male readers are meant to take from the article, given the source of the ‘research’ represented within:

Research carried out by the home diet delivery service, Diet Chef, found that a quarter of the British men they surveyed prefer to have sex with the lights off because they’re uncomfortable and ashamed of their bodies.

If that weren’t bad enough, the Independent decides to segue awkwardly into another press release – one which the Daily Mail covered in full:

Is logging on turning us off? 60% of people use technology in their bed more often than they have sex in it…and some of us even text while making love!

When it comes to our sex lives it seems that, for many of us, the most action we’re getting is a poke on Facebook. 

A new survey from condom brand Durex has revealed that British lovers are allowing technology to get in the way of their sex lives.

In a poll of 2000 men and women over 15 per cent of women and 17 per cent of men admitted to answering their phone or reading a text message during sex, a figure that rises in the capital to 20 per cent.

Source: Daily Mail, 19 March 2014

image

According to Durex – the condom manufacturers behind this second story – 5% of us have checked Facebook while having sex. One in twenty. How Durex really thought anyone would buy that figure, I’ve no idea.

Ukonwa Ojo, Global Marketing Manager at Durex said: ‘Durex believes nothing should get in the way of great sex but our growing obsession with phones, laptops, TVs and Tablets isn’t bringing us closer together, it’s pushing us apart.

‘So, this Earth Hour let’s log off and switch off; use it as an excuse to swap our laptops for some loving and ditch our phones to enjoy some foreplay. Let’s turn off to turn on!’

I have to say, I echo Ojo’s call to switch off – not because I think our use of iPads is interfering with our sex lives, but because they’re exposing us to nonsense PR articles like these.