Tag Archives: blanx

“You should put lots of work into your appearance at Christmas, ladies!” says tooth whitener

With Christmas approaching in a little under a month, it’s apparently time to start piling the pressure on women to meet the impeccably high standards of appearance set by a media infested by advertising for companies highly-invested in selling beauty products to women.

Much as the creeping approach of the festive season can be tracked by the first Christmas song you hear whilst shopping, the media equivalent of the ‘first robin of winter’ comes in the guise of the first warning to ladies to get into shape for the office Christmas party. In this case, the red-breasted harbinger of yuletide cosmetic pressure comes in the form of tooth-whitener retailer Blanx:

The whole operation begins today, exactly three weeks before the start of the December party season – with most office Christmas parties in the UK being staged between December 2 – 18 – according to research by BlanX.

…BlanX spokesman Ashleigh Fell said: ‘Christmas is the party season as far as the majority of Britain’s women are concerned.

‘They devote more time to getting themselves ready for it than any other single event in the annual calendar.

‘It is their one chance in the year to really shine and they are determined to make the most of it.

Did you hear that, girls? Christmas is your ONE chance to shine – it’s your FA Cup Final, and if you’re not on the top of your game when it comes to the birth of the Little Baby Jesus, then you might as well give up right now.

Of course, having fun takes lots of preparation but UK girls are happy to devote hours to it so they can look their best and, ultimately, feel their best.

That’s right – much like how an FA Cup Final represents the culmination of months of hard training and practice (I can talk only in metaphor I understand, I’m afraid), enjoying drinks with friends at Christmas can only come after weeks and months of painstaking and nerve-shattering panic and fear that you don’t match up to a hypothetical media ideal. That’s the only way to feel good about yourself – to submit to whatever social standards of dress are being touted in the glossies this year.

‘We have identified, through our research the day when most British women will start preparing for their big Christmas – and that day is November 11. National Little Black Dress Day.’

Of course, by ‘identified through our research’, Blanx actually means ‘have hired a PR company to come up with something superficially specific-sounding, yet ultimately vacuous and meaningless’. How perfectly fitting for a cosmetics company.

“Having a nice smile is important!” says whitening toothpaste manufacturer

How many times do you think you smile each day? The answer may well depend on which newspaper you read and just how jaded and cynical you’ve become, but the Daily Mail has taken a good stab at putting a figure on it regardless:

Average adult manages seven smiles a day… but one is false!

The average adult manages just seven smiles a day – and at least one is probably false, according to a study.

It found even the most cheerful of us smile only 11 times a day, while the grumpiest produce just one.

The poll of 2,000 adults found the 51 per cent of us who admit to a daily false smile reserve it for our bosses.

Despite our relative unwillingness to smile, we love receiving them. The study found nearly a quarter of us revel in a smile from a lover, and around a fifth in one from our children or another family member.

Source: Daily Mail, 6 March 2013

It seems that the despite the undoubted life-affirming nature of a good smile, we’re just not doing it often enough. What’s more, we clearly underestimate the value of a tooth grin:

BlanX spokesperson Louise Marks said: ‘When our lover flashes us a big, bright white, toothy smile it just melts our hearts, our research has found. 

‘We don’t smile as much as we thought the UK would, an average of seven and a half times each every day. That’s not a lot when you think about how many people we come in contact with every day. 

‘The one thing that did come out of the survey though, is that a genuine, big smile from someone we care about has the power to transform our day no matter what kind of mood we are in.’

Smiles, it seems, are hugely important, and it’s good of Louise Marks to identify this for us, not least in her role as spokesperson for BlanX, the toothpaste.

Thank the lord we have toothpaste companies to commission polls reminding us how important teeth can be. 

“Women have lots of make-up!” say make-up retailers

Have you ever noticed that women have a lot of make-up? The Daily Mail has. Frequently. For instance:

That’s a lot of lippy! Women spend £172 to fill average make-up bag

A make-up bag can be among a woman’s most precious belongings.

So perhaps it is no surprise that the average value of its contents is a rather expensive £172.

A survey of more than 2,000 customers of beauty retailer Escentual.com found that a make-up bag and contents were often the single most expensive item that many women took out of the house with them.

Source: Daily Mail, 17 January 2013

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Who were the company who figured out that women spend a lot of money on make-up? That would be make-up retailer Ecsentual, who make money from women spending a lot on make-up.

Such startling and mascara-heavy-eye-opening findings isn’t Ecsentual’s first foray into hard-core research – in fact just a week earlier their crack team of researchers discovered that women keep the make-up they buy until they’ve used it up:

Is YOUR eyeshadow a breeding ground for bacteria? Women keep make-up for six YEARS after expiry date – leaving them at risk of infection

A new survey reveals British women keep hold of their make-up products for six years after they go off – behaviour that could potentially be a ticking health time bomb.

Many Brits are holding onto their make-up treasures much longer than the use-by date, exposing them to toxins and bacteria, which lead to unnecessary breakouts and risk of eye infections.

Eyeshadow was revealed as the item that spends the longest time languishing at the bottom of make-up bags, with women keeping hold of them for seven years – nearly six years too long.

Source: Daily Mail, 9 January 2013

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The real tragedy to Ecsentual’s research is that it comes just too late for the poor hapless male, who may have been tempted to venture into the make-up market just weeks before these remarkable findings came out, in buying their partners gifts for Christmas.

‘Of course it’s what I wanted dear’: Women will throw away £676million of unwanted Christmas and birthday beauty gifts
– On average, British women will bin £26 of unwanted beauty gifts
– Total wasted money of spurned presents adds up to £676million
– ’Always check it’s her brand’ says firm that did the research

Nine out of ten British women will receive beauty products from loved ones this Christmas – but a jaw-dropping £676million worth will never be used, according to a poll.

The average British woman will throw away two Christmas beauty gifts, worth an average of £26, according to new research by teeth-whitening brand Blanx.

Source: Daily Mail, 2 January 2013

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If only British men had the advice of cosmetics firm Blanx before Christmas, just imagine how many comsetic products could have been spared the January bins! Think of the lipsticks, oh God won’t someone please think of the lipsticks!