“People don’t always know what they’re buying!” says insurer trying to crowbar in a ‘straight-talking’ marketing line

I have to admit, I don’t envy the marketers and advertisers of insurance brands. How do you sell something that is, effectively, speculation? In a competitive and barely-distinguishable market where one company’s offering barely differs from another’s? it must be a pain to find new lines to push to the media, which is why you end up with weird stories like this:

Do you know what you are eating? Ingredients from human hair and beavers’ scent sacs used in popular foods like bread and ice cream

Sweepings from the floors of barber shops in China and a secretion from a very intimate part of a beaver are ending up on the nation’s tables, it is claimed.

A study has lifted the lid on some of the bizarre ingredients used by the food industry, beauty giants and others.

Researchers have revealed that some supermarket bread contains an ingredient derived from human hair.

Source: Daily Mail, 30th September 2016

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So, as the story goes, lots of our foodstuffs contain all manner of strange ingredients that we might not know about. Connect that to an insurance company – you have 30 seconds. Go on, see if you can get there.

…It’s not easy, is it? Largely because there is no connection, in any sane world, between beaver glands and insurance. But, for the sake of it, here’s how Privilege Insurance connected these disparate dots:

The research was commissioned by Privilege insurance and promises to reveal the top 20 secrets behind British consumers’ favourite staples, from orange juice to shoes…

…The head of Privilege Insurance, Dan Simson, said: ‘Privilege believes in straight talking and consumer confidence, so we commissioned this research to confirm or dispute once and for all, some of the everyday consumer scenarios we are all faced with.

‘It is paramount that the consumer has all the facts so they can make a logical and sensible choice about the products they are buying.’

You hear that creaking sound? That’s the sound of a marketing manager over-reaching.