“Cereal can be cool and hi-tech and modern and fun!” says cereal company

What would YOU do to avoid soggy cornflakes? Inventor’s bizarre device sets off an alarm if there’s too much milk into your bowl… but it’s not in stores yet

Breakfast may be the most important meal of the day but more often than not it can also be the most boring.

But all this is set to change if one British inventor has his way.

Dominic Wilcox’s bizarre Wearable Brek range includes a device with sets off an alarm if your cereal is too soggy and a crane that serves milk and cereal into your bowl.

His prototypes were unveiled at the Cereal Killer Cafe in Camden, run by twins Gary and Alan Keery.

Visitors at the cafe also grappled with some weird and wonderful cereal-eating inventions as part of a new exploration into the world of ‘wearable brek’.

Source: Daily Mail, 31st August 2015

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An alarm for when your cereal goes soggy? What will ‘they’ think of next? And by ‘they’, I obviously mean the cereal manufacturing giant looking to capitalise on a quirky hipster-esque story to grab some headlines:

The prototypes, commissioned by Kellogg’s, were created with the aim of adapting the ‘wearable tech’ trend to revolutionise the way we eat breakfast.

Yes, this is a PR stunt by Kellogs. Are you disappointed the prototype alarm isn’t in stores ‘yet’? Don’t be – there’s almost no chance the contraption will ever get beyond this one story, and the same can be said of all the other inventions in the ‘wearable brek’ (because it sounds like wearable tech, get it?) category:

Punters tested out a cereal drone that flies Rice Krispies from shop counter to table, a wearable crane device that injects milk into cereal bowls, and an e-Spoon that measures the mouthfuls of food as you eat.

Ah, yes, that famous piece of wearable technology – the drone. It’s a classic case of a marketing buzzword taking on a life of its own: the wearables phenomena and the Internet of Things is the current holder of the ‘most misused terminology in marketing’ award (previous holder: ‘infographic’).

As for the obligatory spokesperson quote, you can feel the marketing speak dripping off every sentence like soggy rice krispies from an over-full spoon:

Kellogg’s spokeswoman Louise Thompson-Davies said: ‘We’ve been making cereal for almost 100 years, and we’re always looking for ways to make the rush of breakfast time easier and more fun.

If there’s one thing that will make breakfast time easier, it has to be a rice krispies drone with a wearable milk crane. That’s what my breakfast has always been missing.

‘Not only do Dominic’s inventions offer an amazingly creative way to help families enjoy the nutritional benefits of cereal and milk but they have brought us one step closer to solving the conundrum of soggy cereal in the morning.’

That conundrum, that eternal enigma, the painful puzzle of how to stop your cereal going soggy. Thank heavens we are one small step closer, with this amazingly creative soggy alarm. Who knows, little by little, step by step, we may one day live in a world where our grandchildren will only ever hear of soggy cereal in history books, besides terms like “wearable brek” and “marketing fad” and “paper-thin PR stunt”. Together, we can get there.