“French women prefer food to sex!” says condom maker

Sorry men, 74% of French women prefer going out for a gourmet meal than having sex – and food gives them MORE pleasure.

For years, our continental neighbours have been applauded as chic, slim and poised – all achieved seemingly without effort.

They are famed for never putting on weight – despite enjoying a rich diet of foie gras, escargot and croissants.

And, according to a new survey, French women love eating so much that they’d rather go for a gourmet meal than have sex with their partner.

Source: Daily Mail, 30 May 2014

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A tale of woe, from across the Channel, then – our poor Gallic guys and girls, despite their reputation for being a nation of Pepe Le Peu’s, are secretly happier sharing a dessert than a night of passion. And it’s not just the word of a biased and incentivised polling populace – we have experts offering their say too:

Sexologist Gerard Leleu attempted to shed some light on this rather surprising result of Harris Interative’s survey.

He told Stylist magazine: ‘Chemically, the same thing happens in the brain during a “culinary orgasm” and a sexual orgasm.

Which is absolutely true – if you’re allowed to make up an idea like ‘culinary orgasm’, you get to define what this fictional term might mean.

‘In fact, when we are sad and we decide to eat chocolate, we are actually masturbating the hypothalamus.’

“Masturbating the hypothalamus”, of course, being one of the rejected slogans for Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.

That said, masturbating is further from the aims of the survey commissioners than you may imagine:

Durex RealFeel Sexpert Alix Fox said: ‘Apparently Gallic lasses would rather savour some boeuf or bouillabaisse than enjoy an evening dans la boudoir… perhaps they’re having really crepe sex?!

Much as I enjoy a good pun, I object to them being the centre of a news story in a national media outlet.

‘I’d be intrigued to know what time of day this survey was conducted; even those of us with off-the-scale sexual appetites and highly compatible, skilled partners might be tempted to rate food as more pleasurable than intimacy if asked just before lunch, when our stomachs are growling more loudly than our libidos.

It’s fascinating to think that the spokeswoman for Durex is intrigued as to when the survey commissioned by her own condom company was conducted. Perhaps when the report came in, she was otherwise occupied…