Ready meals, moisturiser and no fishing: Survival ace Bear Grylls tests ‘soft’ Brit fellas
BRIT men are losing their manhood skills and becoming too ‘soft’, a survey reveals.
Even though the days of hunting and gathering are over, it seems that most men lack even the basic of survival skills.
A whopping 62% of fellas said they would not be able to start a fire without the help of a lighter.
A news story straight out of the ‘how to be casually and unhelpfully sexist’ PR textbook here, with the British male’s ‘manliness’ in question. And, by question, I mean of course held up against a ludicrous and worthless criteria in order to find men lacking.
What ought men today be able to do, to allow them to keep their ‘man card’ and prevent them having to ‘grow a pair’ and ‘man up’? Besides being able to light a fire without the aid of a lighter, there’s a raft of other necessities:
And commiserations if you’re stuck on a desert island with a man who can’t (or won’t) help chop, hunt and fish.
The assumption here, of course, being that no woman has any of those skills – that goes without saying. No, women correctly do not know how to hunt or fish, but men incorrectly lack these required man skills.
Whereas tools such as fishing rods and knives would be the first things to be chucked into a knapsack, 29% of men would rather rely on ready meals.
The word ‘rather’ being likely crucial in that sentence – personally, given the choice (as it appears men were, in an online poll) between hunting, gutting, skinning and cooking an animal, or eating a ready meal… I’m pretty sure I’d side with the ready meal.
Lazy lifestyles and office jobs requiring sitting at a desk for up to nine hours a day are being blamed on men’s dwindling ability to deal with practical tasks.
That’s right – men are just too lazy and office-bound to be out killing small animals and casually lighting fires. If they weren’t so bloody lazy, today’s men would all be meeting the fire-and-death quota specified on the back of their ‘man cards’.
Of course, this spurious and sexist poll is nothing more than an advert for an aggressively manly TV show:
Survival guru Bear Grylls, host of new TV show The Island, said: “What happens when you strip man of all the luxury and conveniences of modern living and then force them to fight for their very existence?”
I’d imagine what happens is a TV show watched by essentially nobody, Bear.