“Good sex requires lots of sex toys!” says sex toy retailer

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The message is clear – good sex means having a well-stocked cupboard of toys and trinkets. It’s what everyone is doing, it’s what you should be doing, and if you haven’t or don’t want to experiment with light and admittedly-media-friendly bondage then there’s something wrong with you. Or so says the company behind this survey:

The results are from a survey of 2,500 people by online sex shop Lovehoney which found the majority of us (61 per cent) now view bondage “as something naughty to spice things up”.

Of course, between consenting adults in the privacy of whichever room they quite fancy, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with experimentation – however, if the ‘experimentation’ is being nudged into view by a company looking to create a sense of ‘the new normal’ in order to flog their own-branded solution to the problem they’ve created, things get somewhat dicier.

In short, it’s no surprise that a sex toy retailer would market sex toys as the be and end all when it comes to getting one’s end away.

The poll shows that just two years on from the release of Fifty Shades of Grey, soft bondage has entered the mainstream and become a regular part of couples’ sexual routines.

Impressive indeed that just two years since a schlock writer of a Twilight fan-fic invented bondage, it’s become so natural a part of our sex lives. Who’d have thought it would have caught on so quickly?

(I’m sure you already realise this, but I have to say it else I will get letters – yes, I know Fifty Shades didn’t invent bondage, that’s entirely my point; reading the breathless reporting and referencing of the book in the media, you’d have thought the world was lights-off-missionary until that book came along. When we all know it was actually Madonna who invented rough sex, in her 1993 film ‘Body Of Evidence’).

Lovehoney co-founder Neal Slateford said: “The results show that we are all growing up a bit about sex. Couples aren’t afraid to try new things and what was seen as a bit extreme a few years ago now feels completely normal and healthy.

‘Growing up’? Way to load the love dice in your favour, Neal. It’s actually plausible that one can be having ‘grown up’ sex without having purchased anything from your online store.

The research was released to celebrate the launch of the Bettie Page Official Pleasure Collection, a range of soft-bondage items and sex toys inspired by 1950s pin-up Bettie Page.

Fifty Shades AND Bettie Page, in the same dodgy PR advertorial? Well, I guess it’s unwise to put all your love eggs in one basket…