If there’s anything the media has taught us about men, is that they’re only interested in certain parts of a girl’s body, as the Daily Mail (which knows a lot about driving interest in girls’ bodies) explains:
Ladies, forget your figure or your face, it’s your TEETH men really take note of
A dazzling white smile is practically essential for any celebrity hoping to make it onto the red carpet – they don’t call it a Hollywood smile for nothing.
But it seems that pearly whites are imperative when searching for your perfect man too, as a new study reveals the first thing men notice about a woman are her teeth.
According to the latest study, they rate as the most important feature for a man when checking out a new mate.
Indeed, dental credentials took the top spot of the top ten things men judge women on, taking 58 per cent of votes.
See, men aren’t as bad as you thought, you big sexist you! It turns out men are way more interested in a woman’s gnashers than her knockers (I’ve no idea how that sentence didn’t end up in the Mail’s coverage; I presume it would have appeared in The Sun’s). We know men are more dentally motivated, because this opinion poll says so.
Dr Uchenna, Oral-B Smile Director, said of the results: ‘Make sure you treat your teeth every day – they’ll definitely thank you for it and it will make you feel more confident, so you’ll be proud to show off your gorgeous smile.
‘People are becoming more aware of their smiles and I have seen a rise in my clients asking how they can achieve a naturally whiter smile.
‘Oral B found that almost one in three Brits do not brush their teeth twice a day, which will certainly not help to bag that second date this Valentine’s Day.’
Setting aside the fact that a ‘Smile Director’ is not a fucking job (it just isn’t), only a jaded cynic would suggest that this Oral-B’s Grin Queen commenting on a survey they’ve commissioned themselves, which happened to find that the field they exclusively work in is the most important of all, wasn’t real research.
I mean, it’s not like a toothbrush company telling people just before Valentine’s Day that they need super white teeth to get laid would have any kind of commercial gain from such a story… is it?