While faddy diets come and go, the Daily Mail – the newspaper that campaigned against online pornography and struck a blow for decency in an age of moral decline – has a novel way of working off that excess weight:
Having an affair ‘is better for weight loss than going on a diet’
Being unfaithful may be one of the most effective way to shed the pounds, a bizarre survey has found.
Just over half of men and 62 percent of women said they had shed pounds after embarking on an affair.
Philandering men lost an average of 6lbs whilst the women claim to have lost 10lbs on average.
While the exercise benefits of a tumble in the sheet are almost universally accepted (albeit likely often overplayed), the extra-marital nature of this sex seems oddly incongruous with the Mail’s supposed campaign for decency and moral fortitude.
Are we to believe that it’s only illicit sexual encounters that will work off the baby weight or tune up the beer guy? Or is there something else going on here?
Although the survey, which was carried out by a dating website for married people seeking affairs, should clearly be taken with huge pinch of salt, experts say that there are several physiological reasons why being unfaithful might aid weight loss.
That’s quite a big although, and quite a pinch of salt – the survey was posted to promote an affairs website, a find-and-fuck site, essentially. Specifically:
A spokesperson for the dating website, UndercoverLovers.com, which carried out the survey on 3,000 of its adulterous members, said: ‘Having an affair can provide a huge psychological fillip.
‘It’s well known that we eat more, and less healthily, when we’re unhappy.’
It never fails to amaze me just how shady some of the companies behind the many legitimate-seeming stories in the Daily Mail can be – it’s as if their crusade for decency and morality is little more than a middle-England-pleasing facade designed to sell newspapers, when realistically their journalists will take any salacious and juicy-sounding story so long as it will shift newspapers and drive advertising revenue to their borderline-pornographic website…