“REAL men’s greasy spoon cafes are dying out!” says cleaning product aimed at REAL men

Real men, those real men, those actual real men that used to be all the rage – you know the ones – those real men love nothing more than a good, real, greasy, fatty, fried meal, to fuel those real jobs they do because they’re a dying breed of real men, you know what I mean? Well, perhaps you don’t, but certainly the Daily Express and Daily Mail do:

WORKMEN SAY GOODBYE TO GREASY SPOON

And their working day is almost as long as a junior doctor’s, a survey of tradesmen has found.

They spend just 27 minutes eating lunch and are 10 times more likely to grab a salad than a greasy fry-up, the study by Grime Boss Heavy Duty Hand Wipes found.

Coffee has overtaken tea as the workman’s hot beverage of choice. While a quarter of those surveyed still prefer the traditional cuppa, almost half (47.4%) have said they prefer coffee to give them their kick, with one in six (18.2%) choosing a latte or cappuccino.

Source: Daily Express, 8 January 2013

And the Daily Mail’s take:

Has the greasy spoon had its chips? Workmen ditching cup of tea with full english for lattes and SUSHI

They have a reputation for enjoying greasy fry-ups washed down with mugs of tea.

But it seems that the workmen of today have a much more sophisticated palate than their predecessors.

Instead of being found eating a hearty breakfast in an old greasy spoon, they are more likely to be seen supping a latte or grabbing sushi.

Source: Daily Mail, 8 January 2013

There we have it, and it’s sad, isn’t it? The old British tradition of greasy spoon cafes and relentless cholesterol is going the way of the dodo, as proper British workmen opt instead for that foreign muck and so on and so on. Faux nostalgia for a lardier time isn’t really my main skillset.

So let’s stick to what we do best, and take a look at who wants us to mourn the loss of the good old fashioned, working-class, blue collar, salt-of-the-Earth greasy spoon cafe? Who are ‘Hard Grimes Heavy Duty Hand Wipes’.

So, they’re ultra-manly, salt-of-the-earth, REAL men’s… hand wipes. In case the real men get their hands dirty. How very modern.