“Sex is a lot like tennis!” says sex toy firm during Wimbledon

July 15th, 2012

From the Daily Mail, July 2nd, 2011:

Sex is like tennis – women are making FAR more noise! 

The courts at Wimbledon will be much quieter from today after Maria Sharapova, who is known as one of the noisiest women in the sport, was knocked out of the tournament.

Her shrieks during the game sometimes exceed 100 decibels, while other female players like Serena Williams are also far noisier when playing than their male counterparts.

Now a survey has revealed that it’s not just on the tennis courts that women are louder than men – they are also far noisier in the bedroom.

It seems when the nation turn their eyes to tennis, so do the PR companies, with this particular story appearing right in the middle of Wimbledon and carrying with it the perennial headline-booster that a silly sex story can be relied upon for.

It’s fair to say this story fits more into the ‘generally accepted stereotype’ than the ‘shock finding’ category, and equally unshocking is the source of the survey – online sex toy sellers lovehoney.com:

One respondent to the survey carried out by online sex retailer lovehoney.co.uk said: ‘Sex is largely like the tennis at Wimbledon…

What a set up line! I wonder how that sentence ends…

  • Sex is largely like the tennis at Wimbledon… more fun when it doesn’t involved Cliff Richards? 
  • Sex is largely like the tennis at Wimbledon… perfectly enjoyable until Andy Murray gets knocked out?
  • Sex is largely like the tennis at Wimbledon… somewhat less interesting after the end of the first week?
  • Sex is largely like the tennis at Wimbledon… inevitably dominated by one of the Williams sisters?

Sex is largely like the tennis at Wimbledon… the women are making far more noise!’

Personally, I preferred my versions. As the Mail continues:

Sex expert Tracey Cox said there was no scientific reason why women are louder than men.

Yeah, that doesn’t sound likely to me – there may be currently no known or provable reason why women are louder than men, but it seems highly unlikely that we can be sure there’s no scientific reason, and even more unlikely that such a decree can be confidently made by media sex expert and nominative determinism case study Tracy Cox.